I'm a little sad to realize that one of my friendships is nearing the natural end of its course.
When I was an adolescent, more often than not, my friendships went down in flames in spectacular fashion; there was envy and strife and lies and accusations, ugly notes passed back and forth across a crowded classroom and the unspoken demand that everyone take sides. It's what kept the blood pumping from September to June.
But now that we're grown, there's no time, desire or even tolerance for such drama. People change and grow -- that's all. What's funny is that I expected this to happen between One and her friends as they all got older. I didn't stop to consider that the very same widening chasm that would drift them apart, will drift me from their mothers.
I had lunch with a dear friend this week. We met over 3 years ago when she moved here from another city, and we became pretty close rather quickly. I'm pretty sure I was her first friend in the area and felt honored to have been able to give her some leads on a church home, a doctor and even some friends on her side of town. Since then, she has planted roots, made a good network of friends and gets out-and-about more than I do, I'm sure.
She's a gracious woman, poised hostess, godly counselor and a pleasant friend. I suspect the impending end stems from the truth that we're not like-minded in the things that matter most to us. We both know the same true Jesus, but the convictions and even simple choices through which we live that truth out, are proving different and difficult to overcome. We don't actually voice our disagreements (hey! maybe a little more candor would serve us well) but those issues are serving to direct us onto separate paths.
I'm realizing more and more that I'm being sharpened by some strong and solid iron these days. We're spending time with families who believe that children are a blessing and a reward from the Lord, as the bible clearly states. We're being encouraged to seek that which is profitable for the spirit when we make our entertainment selections: books, t.v., music, games. We're seeing the fruit in our family as we seek to develop each child to their individual potential, while building and binding the cords of love together in this unit to which He sovereignly ordered us. We're relieved to find that One, as she approaches her teen years, is not ignorant nor enamoured with the ways of her peers: in appearance, hobbies, attitudes or "freedoms."
In the end, I guess it's our nature to feel closest, enjoy most and desire the company of those who are like-minded. For some, they seek out sameness in status, athestic-consciousness, race or ethnicity, socioeconomic labeling, etc. For me, I enjoy a friend who loves the Lord, loves their children, loves the lost and -- loves a good irreverent jab.
1 comment:
I am feeling this way recently. Some people who are dear friends of mine, I am finding out (now that our children are getting older) we are not very like-minded. There is a sometimes strong, sometimes subtle, but almost always a difference in how we think. I am feeling a huge burden for them right now (most are lost), but I am also realizing I need to keep closer to me those who are like-minded when it comes to the Lord, morality, child-rearing, marriage, etc. Just thinking out loud.
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