Husbands and Wives

I've had this post simmering inside my head for at least a few days. The Lord has laid it heavy on my heart. Our community of believers has been rocked by a devastating case of adultery. But I am nearly as grieved by some of the reactions that came after the behaviours were discovered, confessed and repented.

I should preface this post with this thought: I've got it easy. I've got a great husband whom I really like. He is one who holds up his biblical responsibility as the head of this household. He passionately seeks the Lord, he loves me and he loves his children. He never compromises those relationships for the pursuit of money or power or fame. He is gentle and compassionate, strong and faithful. He never lies. He never uses profane language. He is a man after God's own heart.

Or is he?

If he is not, you will never know it. That is the point of this post.

The bible has a pretty straight forward directive for wives and husbands. And while each comes about more naturally when both are at work, nowhere does God let one partner off the hook because the other is not living up to their charge to the other's satisfaction. Everyone who calls themselves a bible-believing Christian knows what His Word says about husbands loving their wives, and wives submitting to their husbands. (The latter part usually comes with a few knowing chuckles or scoffs amongst the women who struggle most with the principle.)

Principle? Wait! No, that's a command! Wives are meant to be the help-meet; the supplement; the compliment to her husband's wholeness. It's why Eve came to be. Wives are encouraged toward the type of submissiveness that lets her call her husband: her sovereign. Wives are to be loyal, and obedient to the one whom her Creator looks upon as one flesh with her; or perhaps better stated, she with him.

But because Husbands are human, they will surely come with their own set of spiritual weaknesses and struggles. Part of submission might include letting their fruit sour to the Lord's harvest, but whenever possible and within her control, a wife who loves the Lord will strive to cover her husband's sin with love. She will seek to help him maintain dignity, and afford him a safe and private place in which to work out his salvation with fear and trembling. Afterall, we do this for our children; and we want it done for ourselves.

A godly wife will determine to respect her husband at all times, in all situations -- whether he's watching or listening, or not. She will seek to find her validation in the noble work of supporting him and building him up; she will concern herself with his reputation.

A Christian wife will do her husband good and not harm all the days of her life. She will speak well of her children's father, because they are listening, and they are learning how to do this matrimonial dance by her example. Wives do not ask friends, or church, or children to take sides against their husbands for less than reasons of repentance. And when repentance is there, she rejoices that restoration has begun.

It's not glamorous work as the World would appreciate, but it is not demeaning, either. Being a wife is a position of privilege, and all that goes into it is important and worthy of being accomplished. It can involve strict self-discipline and for some -- making difficult-to-implement choices, but a godly wife will choose to love her husband most among the things of this world: more than her girlfriends, more than her mother, more than her popularity and more than herself. And when the husband truly is desperately undeserving of all this commitment and sacrifice; a wife will do it for the Lord.