Crush

A couple of years ago a friend with 4 daughters under 6 years old expressed her belief that girls who become "twitterpated" with boys must be missing some element of love or attention from their own father. Not strictly true! She can talk to me about it again in 5 years.

Husband is a very doting father. He cherishes his girls and they know it. He tells them. He shows them. But even so, One is caught in the clutches of a first real crush -- o.k., her first crush since she was about 7 years old.

We are a family that has committed to the courtship model of romance and marriage. Whether each girl will embrace our philosophy in adulthood remains to be seen, but we believe that our reasons are biblical, based in love, and understood to be in the best interest of the child. Romance is not a recreational activity around here. But at the same time, girls turn into women and with that change comes hormones, heart-palpitations and daydreams.

Tonight, One confided in me about a certain boy in our circle of friends that she has secretly been enamored with for months. He's a very impressive young man, but this is not the time. Thanks be to God for His generous allotment of wisdom! In a moment of epiphany, I remembered what I had heard from Aunt #2 about her daughters and how they successfully followed the courtship model. When they approached their teen years, each girl began a working list of qualities she believed important, or would simply like to have in a husband. How exciting it was for them to later recognize their mate based on the list!

So, I explained to One that I can only advise; she will be expected to obey in the flesh, but will have to choose in her spirit to own this principle for herself. I cautioned her again to guard her heart -- to avoid stealing away any part of her affections to someone who is not her husband because she would not want him to steal away his affections to another before the Lord brings her across his path. And then I encouraged her to start a list. I assured her that it is normal and exciting to feel this way, and that it won't be the last time. However, because it isn't the right time, I want her to channel these feelings toward something productive. I hope she will prayerfully consider the specific qualities that she regards about this boy and the others that will inevitably catch her attention in the years to come. I hope that in deciphering and commiting these fascinations to the list, He will help her to purge any ungodly desire and keep her heart rested in her Father, and secured by her daddy.