When I went in to check on her, she was sitting up with her face over the bucket that her daddy had set next to the bell that she should ring if she becomes sick and needs assistance. I asked her how she felt, and she whined a little about how much her tummy hurt.
Well, not hurt, exactly; she feels nauseated.
With Fifi's help, I find a couple of ponytail clips, sit myself down behind Dumpling and gently part her hair down the middle, gathering the short hair just behind her ears.
And then we wait.
I pet her back. I hold her close. I stroke her arm. I ask her how I can make her comfortable. She doesn't want to be propped up on pillows; she doesn't want to lay on her side; mostly though, she just doesn't want me to leave.
So we play a little guessing game as I write letters on her back with my fingertip. "T-i-m-e-f-o-r-s-l-e-e-p." But she pleads with me to stay.
Now, either of her sisters would probably argue that Dumpling is the center of everything, anywhere, all the time--but inexplicably this middle child often wants for expressions of love and attention. It breaks my heart, and I pray often that she would know she is loved--by Him first, but by all of us as well.
So I stay with her for a little while longer, and it occurs to me to ask her if she would like me to pray for her. She shrugs and offers a shy smile, which is as good as saying, "Yes, please!" and so I pray with her. But I don't pray that she will be healed. I don't dare to know that is God's will for her, and the very last thing I want to do is to plant doubt in my children by way of selfish prayers. I pray simply that Jesus would regard my sweet Dumpling, show mercy to her, have compassion on her, and let His will be done swiftly so that she may rest well and heal. I ask that He would either pluck the "bug" from her quickly, or simply let her be delivered of it.
And then I must offer to get her daddy to sit with her so that I may accomplish an evening chore. She agrees, and so I head to the top of the stairs and call for Jim. He and I are headed back to her room when we hear her call to us. Walking in, we see her hunched over her prepared trash can, ready to receive God's answer to our prayer.
It wasn't pleasant, but both of us were there. And prayers were said for her, "Help her bear it, Jesus. Please help her bear it."
A quick trip to the bathroom sink to brush her teeth, and she was back in bed feeling as good as she has ever felt. And the smile! Oh, such a happy smile.
What was that smile, I wonder?
Was it just because she suddenly felt better? Was it because she had both her parents' undivided attention for those 20 minutes? Or was it...oh, please let it be...the smile of a child who has recognized the profound truth of her Savior's love and care...through answered prayer.
14 comments:
The first post about puke to ever make me cry! =)
This made me get all misty. It's such a common thing, really, when you have several children. How lovely when we find God's grace and care through the common things of life.
I have one that need those reassurances, too. Oddly, she is the only girl, and the object of so much affection from many guys (Dad and brothers only for now, thankfully!!!). Thanks for the reminder.
I hope Dumpling is already on the mend.
My mom prayed for me like that once and I instantly, ummm, you know. This after a long time of wishing it would just come up already. That really made an impression on me. We could discuss how sometimes God says "no" but that time He said "yes." And it still makes me fill with gratitude toward God and my mom.
Oh, the joy of finding His presence in every situation. You are a blessing to her, one she will never fully understand until she has her own Dumpling.
GB~
I love something you said in the middle of this post: "I don't pray that she will be healed. I don't dare to know that is God's will for her, and the very last thing I want to do is to plant doubt in my children by way of selfish prayers"
I wonder if I can articulate why this touched me so!
Just in the past two years I've managed to pull myself out of TEN long years of attending churches that teach the God-as-a-genie, word of faith, prosperity preaching type doctrines. Among other things, they taught that God MUST heal EVERY prayer for healing, assuming your faith is pure and/or you confess the correct things over yourself and that person.
Sigh.
Obviously, I finally figured out the false teaching in all of that, but I honestly still struggle with whether or not to pray certain ways or teach my daughter certain things. I'm still unsure of much of my spiritual teaching over those years.
I guess you could say that there is still some of gray areas and confusion under the surface of my spirituality. A side effect of many years of false doctrine mixed with God's truth, I suppose! After all that, it becomes very difficult to separate the two completely and correctly, if that makes sense.
Anyway, you -- in that one sentence -- helped me clarify something that had me perplexed and struggling. I won't go into all the back and forth thoughts and doubts I had, but just know that your words were God-inspired to help me today.
Thank you! I know you didn't know that is how God was going to use this post, but I appreciate it nonetheless. I still have FAR to go before I will fully remove some of the false ideas put into my head by misguided men...but thank God He's providing clarity in unexpected places!
Hope that she's feeling better, by the way. And I'm SO sorry for the long comment! I really wanted you to know how you'd helped me.
I'm surprised by your statement:
"I don't pray that she will be healed. I don't dare to know that is God's will for her, and the very last thing I want to do is plant doubt in my children..."
Do you not pray for things that you hope are God's will, even if you don't know for sure? If you don't, then aren't you somewhat paralyzed by having to guess what God's will is before you can pray for something? Surely not all our prayers can be reduced to "Thy will be done" can they?
Or could it be the case that you DO pray for those things, like healing, but that you don't do so in front of your children, because you don't want potentially unanswered prayers to shake their faith? If this is the case, I can relate to your emotions, but I think it's hiding an element of your humanity from your children.
I don't mean to be critical, dear bloggospherical friend, but I do not understand. I also don't want to pollute any good that was done to Missy by my comment, and I certainly don't agree that God is obligated to grant all our requests for healing.
I would like to hear more of your thoughts on this.
Wow...truth be told Orangehouse and Missy, I hadn't given it that much thought as I wrote it. It seemed like a no brainer that she was going to be sick--my supplication was for swiftness and to know whether it would be sickness unto a long, lousy, restless night of healing or sickness unto vomit and relief. So, I guess I was praying for discernment of God's will more than a removal of what was clearly His will already.
Clear as mud? That's cause life's messy, :) but thanks for stretching me and making me think this morning.
Wow, who would have thought that a mom's simple pray and love for her daughter would have provoked such theological thought.
It was a wonderful post. The same statement struck a cord with in me as well, though I'm not sure I gave it as much thought as your other two commenters. Both were well written.
Hope she is well and none of the others got the bug. :)
"Help her bear it..." How often I've prayed this for our oldest, who has cerebral palsy. God's will be done, His Name exalted, His Son praised, whatever that means for us.
Oh, how I would love to have her miraculously, completely healed on earth! We would receive it with praise and gratitude. More than that, though, I covet that my children would all KNOW that their Savior walks with them through the most miserable of times, that He will not leave them or forsake them and that nothing can separate them from His love. It seems these things are best learned in difficulty. So be it.
Its so difficult in letting them know you love them all different, but equal.
There have been times when one of my kids asks, "Who is your favourite?" I figured a dumb question deserves a dumb answer, such as " Today? its your little brother, we will see what tomorrow brings." lol. I of course say it tongue in check, but they get the point.
So good to hear, " Your will be done Lord" Yes in the end not to have pain would be lovely, but the reality is, lets teach our children to deal with pain with Jesus to walk with us, rather then to expect a painless life. Its a monumental lesson for life, and the sooner they learn it, the better walk they will have.
I am sure she knows yous love her. But it does your hearts good to show her. :)
I have two thoughts: Wonderful post. And dang. Now I have to add another blog to my reader.
This is truly a beautiful snapshot of your heart for your children. I'm so glad Clementine pointed the way to your blog. I can't wait for more.
GB, I just wanted to let you know that my bloglines is suddenly not picking you up. No need to publish this comment - just wanted you to know. :)
Poor girl. There is something about middle children. I'm still trying to figure out why their "love tanks" never seem to fill up, no matter how hard I try.
My heart hurts too as I question why? Why does he seem to feel not-as-loved? Not as noticed?
Mothering does allow us to teach our children about the Lord's love and care through even the smallest circumstances, doesn't it?
Beautiful post, GB. I smiled through tears as I read this.
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