I'm feeling liberated lately. Fifi and I were debriefing the other day--commiserating about our shared experience with a certain group which, whenever our lives intersect theirs, leave us all feeling a little left out, lonely, rejected--like...like...
"Misfits?" Fifi interjects.
"Yes! That's it! Misfits...I'm so glad you're reading Dickens, Fifi."
"Well, actually, I got that from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer..."
"Oh."
I tell you all this for...I don't know why.
Living two starkly contrasting lives--before and since calling Christ LORD--has given me the chance to meet all kinds of people. Over the course of my lifetime, I've been befriended and influenced by free thinkers, politically correct do-gooders, criminals, hypocrites, the overly-ambitious, the greedy, the powerful; selfish, kind, narcissistic, sacrificial, heroic, noble, superficial. There are all kinds of people--everywhere.
And there are all kinds of Christians out there, too. Though in this case, I use the term loosely. After all, all Christians are people, but not all people are Christians.
There are true Christians, poser Christians, confused Christians, and what I call poker-playing Christians. They are the ones who are on their guard against walking in the wide path that leads to destruction. They feel just fine about things for as long as they are the only ones--or at least one of very few--that they can see walking with God in the way that they do. When the narrow road becomes crowded with like-minded people, they look around, and fearing that they've mistakenly strayed onto the wide road, decide that it's time to up the ante.
They only feel holy if there is a constant thinning of the herd, or remnant as the case may be. It doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, needed or not in the LORD's sight--that's almost beside the point. Sadly, these are Christians who are having a relationship, not with the Son of God, but only with His perfect and holy Word at the expense of a personal relationship with the Son of God. In the Gospels, Jesus called them Pharisees. Sadducees. Sometimes he called them worse.
The controversial Michael Pearl, to my great surprise, has a fabulously insightful admonishment to offer in the latest issue of No Greater Joy. His article starts with a story of perspective:
...the mother casually asked us to pray that their daughter find a husband before they left for Mozambique in the Fall. I asked in a shocked manner, “Why on earth would you want her to marry now? She is such a blessing to you and knows the language. Surely you need her to help you with the other children.” The mother lifted her arched brows as she pondered how she would answer me. Her look conveyed her surprise at my lack of understanding. “We will be in a foreign country for the next 4 years. All that time she will be at the prime of her marriageable age. We feel it is best for her to marry an American. God called my husband to Mozambique as a missionary…not our adult children. We have obeyed God and raised them up to serve HIM…not US. We don’t add; we multiply. It is time for her to live her life.”I highly recommend Mr. Pearl's article, and if you walk away having no idea who he's talking about?...consider yourself blessed.
19 comments:
I'm very happy to say that I don't know any families like that... but I can imagine it. Thanks for the 'head's up'... wouldn't want to fall into such a thing unaware.
You rock, GB! That's all I have to say today.
I'm almost speechless. Almost.
I love it when I find someone who is able to verbalize these random, darting thoughts inside my head.
Know there are others of us .... the misfits that is.
Thanks for this post.
My limited attention span has forced me to stop reading that article in the middle just so I can tell you that I am surprised at the direction it is going. I'm off to finish reading it now.
First, that was a great article.
When I was reading what YOU wrote, I was thinking of another Christian sub-group I've encountered online (I won't name them so that I won't offend) that consider me a sinner going to hell due to some personal family choices we've made....which to me is so very sad considering they've never met me and have no idea of the plans God has for my family. I shudder to think how many people have been driven from God by those who condemn what God does not condemn...
How easily we cross the line between wanting to follow God's will and creating a doctrine that hurts instead of edifies. Just one more reason I strive to keep my eyes on God and God alone, instead of being swayed by whatever Christian fad or doctrine that happens to float by. Not that I always succeed at maintaining the right course....but I pray my discernment gets better each time I fall!
Great post, GB!
What a timely post.
My second born, a music major,(dd20) just flew off to France a few days ago. She will be studying the langauge there for awhile. My oldest (dd22) is living and working in New York. She hopes to be a writer. I frequently feel met with a subtle sense of disapproval for letting them go.
BUT, we workied hard for many years to raise them for this - leaving home and making their own makrs on the world. We're still here and they know they are always welcome to come home.
My oldest has met a young man. She wanted us to meet him. I was important to her that we approved of her choice. I'm glad she values our opinion. But, it's her decision. I can counsel and advise based on my years of experience, and I will if asked. But, she's shown that she is capable of forging her own relationships without my constant intercession.
I think part of the movement is a reaction against the world's way of doing things. Which is to have the daughters be "independent" women, college and career minded, unconcerned with the family but only with themselves, etc. I have always thought it was a protective move (as far as daughters are concerned anyway). The article was very interesting--never thought about how it could turn into something sick! I haven't really thought that far down the road--something to think about.
I came across that very article last week or so and was in shock as well, as there are so many things I haven't agreed with him on! Sad that so many won't "listen" to it because of who he is. But I am grateful that someone has shared this!
I just read this article today because Ashleigh had told me about it. I thought it was excellent and very insightful.
wOw!!!
I love how I can come here and have my thoughts put into a well written"article."
I have directed some people to this blog, for ...why waste my time trying to explain something you said so well & efficiently?? lol
wOw!!!
I love how I can come here and have my thoughts put into a well written"article."
I have directed some people to this blog, for ...why waste my time trying to explain something you said so well & efficiently?? lol
"They have cradled you in custom, they have primed you with their teaching, They have soaked you in convention through and through;
They have put you in a showcase;
You're a credit to their teaching---
But can'ty you hear the WILD?-it's calling you."
Robert Service
Yeah, I can relate to being a misfit. And, I'm sure I've raised the ante a few times myself!
(Having connection problems; if this is a duplicate post, please, of course, delete it.)
Hmm... I'm going to have to give more attention to the Pearls, it seems. From that article, at least, we appear to be on the same page. I tend to avoid homeschooling seminars, books, advice columns, groups, etc., because it seems like each person/group has their own way and leave me feeling like a misfit 98% of the time, because I don't agree with some part of their approach or doctrine. So, while I've heard of the Pearls, I've not read much of anything from them, ever, even though this is our 7th year homeschooling.
I have been both somewhat attracted and somewhat alarmed by the patriarchal movement. I think what has kept me out of buying into it outright has been the sense of, "We're right, we're the true Christians, and everyone who isn't doing things our way is deceived, or lazy, or a sinner." Complete exclusivity is always a red flag for me.
I'm rather a gleaner, taking what I see as good and noble (such as encouraging boys to really be BOYS, who grow up into MEN), and tossing out advice that would have young women not even go to college, not even go off to be a missionary, but wait at home until the transfer of power is complete -- from father to husband. Ack.
There are other positive things about the patriarchal movement, such as an emphasis on doing all things well -- from schooling, to the arts, to personal self-care, to taking seriously a relationship with Christ.
I've probably talked too much here... sorry!!
Thank you for linking to that article.
Good post and I did appreciate Mr. Pearl's article.
I think there are many Christians who can understand Fi-Fi's term of "misfit".
"They only feel holy if there is a constant thinning of the herd, or remnant as the case may be. It doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong, needed or not in the LORD's sight--that's almost beside the point. Sadly, these are Christians who are having a relationship, not with the Son of God, but only with His perfect and holy Word at the expense of a personal relationship with the Son of God. In the Gospels, Jesus called them Pharisees. Sadducees. Sometimes he called them worse."
This was excellent. Thank you.
GB: Thank you for putting into words the deep rejection I so often feel by these kinds of "thinning the herds" folks. Thank you, thank you.
I was surprised to see I agreed with him when I read the article in my copy this month. But, I often find that. Then there are other things in the magazine which I strongly disagree with. But I suppose he's just another person, imperfect, capable of getting some things right on and being dead wrong on others. Hmm...like me.
As one who has done her share of "uppin' the ante" and who knows she's seen as a misfit to some now that she's not "uppin'" anymore, all I can say is... yep. To all of it. I've read this article several times in amazement.
Hugs to you as you walk this road. We are to stay on the narrow road that Christ showed us, but not the rabbit trails simply because they are more narrow...
Amen, and amen! We read that article online last week and printed it out. I've known folks like this for years and years--not a pretty picture overall. So glad you linked to it!
What a GREAT article. I have many a time been confused and wondered if I should be "upping the ante" as you so perfectly described. A few times I have and quickly saw the folly. May I always have "one eye" about my walk with Him.
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