To Be Bought with a Price to Complete the Sufferings of Christ

I didn't know. Not really. I didn't understand it a few evenings ago, as I do in this one.

I should have known that something big was coming. It's clear to me now that the Lord has been working for many weeks to teach me something new--something brand new. I have carried this truth around with me, in my head, for a decade, but have needed His help to wrap my heart around for some time.

And I knew I needed His help.

Because only God can apply His truths to the human heart.

And He's pleased to do so when one of His children cries out for wisdom. But sometimes, the wisdom can only come from having walked through the fire.

Forgiveness.

It's more complicated than I thought. Frankly, I never gave it a lot of thought beyond what Jesus did for me, before reading this link that, in turn, came from my reading of the One Year Bible Blog.

I only knew that forgiveness was something God afforded me when I believed on His Son for the work that He did on the cross. And that forgiveness is something He expects me to offer others. And that if I don't offer it freely to others, I can't expect it of Him, either.

So, of course, I toss around the terms.

"I'm sorry."

"Will you forgive me?"

"I forgive you."

And in a moment of emotional clarity I believe myself. And then, days--or years--later, I find that the same old offense has crept back into my being and I find that I'm being slowly consumed by a destructive root of bitterness. And I ask myself (and my spouse, and my friends, and my Lord) if I ever really did forgive?

But I needn't ask. I know.

So, how does forgiveness happen? How exactly do I make it stick? If I will it to happen, as I have so many times before, why is it not happening?

And now I know.

I've not been counting the cost. I've not realized or remembered that forgiveness is not merely a word, or even an action, but is really a sacrifice. When I need to forgive, what I really need to do is assess. Assess the sin. Assess the damage. Assess the consequence--and be willing to incur it all.

All the hurt and the heartbreak. All the inconvenience and earthly injustice. The scorn, the ridicule; the pain, the grief, the damage, the slander, and the abandonment.

That's how forgiveness can stand alone, independent of repentance on the part of the offender.

And that's why I must never be flippant, and always be very sober, deliberate and humble when it's my turn to confess, apologize and ask for forgiveness--because what I'm really doing is asking someone else to take on the debt of my sin.

And that's how I may know Him and the fellowship of His sufferings--when I, like Him, freely take on the debt of another's sin. When I absorb it, remembering all the while that my life is not my own. I have been bought with a price, and am His vessel to accomplish the completion of His suffering.