Apparently, some big name tweeny-bopper was in town today, and hundreds of little girls in the proximity of 12 years old were all dolled up with hair, make-up and their favorite form-fitting clothes, trying to make the most of their pubescent figures, and on hand to ask for an autograph and swoon at the sight of...of...whoever he was.
I heard it on the news. Now, which millstone was that?
I turned to Husband and just praised the Lord out loud that Fifi has no idea who any of these people are, and even if she did--she is the type of girl who would be oh-so-slightly disgusted by the spectacle anyway.
O.k....so we're working on the "slightly disgusted" part. But for now, it's keeping her from temptation.
And then I made mention that I often catch myself questioning whether these are the very moments that she will grow up to resent later. Will she--like my Bob Jones University parents before her--live an evangelical lifestyle, separated unto that which is lovely and of good report in her youth, only to chuck it all in a fit of Christian antagonism that complains for decades afterward about missing the prom, and the football games, and the sleepovers, and the...whatever?
Will she?
But the Lord is quick.
Through His Holy Spirit, He reminds me of these truths...
It is not ours to parent against our child's possible rebellion. Or hurt feelings. Or suffering. Or loss. Or any of the other things that we tend to view as more detrimental to our babies than a lukewarm faith in Christ Jesus our Lord.
They are each His, as are we. And we are charged to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are to take what we know He has told us and be true to it. In the end, I believe our accountability will stand apart from their choices.
And the mystery is this--I believe all that is true, but that it is also true that if we raise up a child in the way that she should go, when she is old she will not depart from it.
16 comments:
Good words, GB. Our oldest is 16 now, and your reminder is timely. I'm afraid we've been more permissive than we ought to have been about cultural influences. Now that we know better, we are determined to do better.
May you be blessed this week.
That is so good. I often have those feelings, too, but my husband reminds me that we don't parent out of fear. We do what we believe we should do.
Thanks for being real.
I find it interesting that my husband and I were in fact discussing this very thing, concerning our 7 yr old
daughter. I was stating that I am sooo glad that she isn't
influenced by the "world"
as other 7 yr olds are and that she doesn't care about what is in style to the "world", but that she likes what, she likes. Her very character is being fashioned right here at home where God had her intricately placed and it is facinating to watch her uniqueness develope without trying to "fit in"!!! I praise God that He gave us the wisdom to raise our children up in the way they should go... Right here at home!
There was an interview done with
C.S Lewis' stepson, Douglas Gresham, by The Old School House Magazine and he said something that resonated with me, it was, that-
"We observe what God has designed, a pair of parents, one of each sex, and two pairs of grandparents, often with a few aunts and uncles thrown in. In fact, a Family. This is the unit designed by God Himself for the specific purpose and ministry of raising each new generation.
Then what do we do? We take the child and remove him from this carefully designed support group of parents and close family memebers, all of whom share a genetic bond with the child, and plunge him into a mass group of his peers, all of whom are as ignorant and as demanding as he is, with one adult stranger supervising..."
I don't know why that one statement helped me "feel" better about wondering if she will have resentment later, but it did, also that the Word says the very thing you quoted-- Raise a child up in the way they should go and when they are old they shall not depart.
It ALWAYS is so nice when we have the Word to stand on! God bless you!
Yes! This is so important for parents to remember. I was speaking to a family friend one day and she was pointing out examples of people she knew who were living apart from the Lord. They were PK's. The excuse they all used was that their lives were a mess because their parents sheltered them too much and didn't allow them to "experience life". My response: I don't believe a word of that! I refuse to parent from a fear of what they might do in an effort to experience life. True life is found only in Christ and if I model that before them wih joy and conviction, training them in the way they should go, I trust that God will keep them. I think there are many factors that contribute to the issues of many pastor's kids, but I don't think it's because they didn't get to "experience life".
IT's a great thing to be able to blame parents for the mess-ups of life. Satan also likes to use it against us when things go wrong. Just hang onto your beliefs. Don't compromise.
What a great post!
I totally parent out of fear so often. I question every decision I've ever made and even some decisions to come. I really needed to hear both this post and the comments these wonderful ladies made!
Thanks for a reminder of why I do what I do.
I believe that if we sow the seeds of life, love and the truth of God's Word, we will reap an abundant harvest.
We all make mistakes...sin...but in teaching them the truth, they will probably avoid many pitfalls but also know the way out if they fall in.
Gal 6:9!!!
I commend all you Moms who are striving to raise them up in the knowledge of God!!!
Go MOM!
This was excellent. I often am concerned that Scarlett will resent some of the choices we have made for her, but you are correct: our job is not to ward off future rebellion. Nice job.
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Agreed!
It's our responsibility to train, pray and set an example.
It's God's job to change the heart.
Prayer is SO crucial here. May we fervently be lifting them up before the Lord as we are diligently teaching and training.
Thank you for this post.
Thank you, too, for your encouraging words you left and for your prayers. What a blessing they are.
~ Christina
So good, GB. And so needful. I've linked. :)
Your "parenting" posts are among my favorite. With our daughter only 15 months old (next week), I feel the battle between giving in and being firm. Thank you for the scriptural reminder to "raise up a child in the way that she should go."
oh,this was just the encouragement I needed after hearing some questioning. Some of our family is oh so concerned about the lack of socialization...concerned that our kids won't get to do what we did in highschool...cheerleading, sports, homecoming...partying...Only God can change their hearts and in the mean time I will be Biblically overprotective :).
We must raise them up as God leads us and allow Him to call them to himself. We trust in Him and do not let fear drive us. We don't let the "Joneses" drive us either.
Thank you for that reminder.
Hello,
I am a reader of your blog. I have a question more than a comment on a challenge that has came about in my family.
I am a homeschooling mom of four and I have been married going on seventeen years and my husband and I have been Christians for fourteen years.
My husband and I have a nine year old daughter who has begun taking what we believe is anxiety attacks. I do not know what to do, some say she should see a child mental health specialist ,others make comments or hints that homeschooling may be the cause, a good friend of my husbands spoke to us on how he went through the same thing and received help. He feels she is unknowingly feeling guilty about having fun because it is only when we are away from home and she is going to do or is doing something she loves to do. He said it is that she is punishing herself for some reason and without realizing it she is doing this to herself.
He also says there is a root reason and for him it was anger towards his parents that he felt he could not express.
My GP told us to keep doing what we are doing but it seems so extreme for this to just happen out of the blue without reason. She has always been a more sensitive child and in tune more that most and nervous about things that other children would not be so much so.
I could give you my email if you are able to share your thoughts on this?I feel very guilt ridden and also that people are judging us homeschooling for this problem and feel our daughter is forced to do this and is suffering and resentful because of our smothering.
I know you know nothing about me or our life but do you have any thoughts or advice on this? Would you pray for my daughter?
A Desperate mom
I am sorry that I am not qualified to give any counsel on your situation. And I won't insult you with the standard Christian line, "the Bible is all sufficient." Of course it is, but it is only by the Spirit of God that we can discern how to handle any given situation. So I will pray for your daughter; and I will write to you privately later today, Lord willing.
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