The Blame Game: His, Hers, Theirs and Mine

O.J. Simpson.

Guilty? Tragically misunderstood? Sociopath?

God, alone, knows for sure what lies in his heart and in his history.

But by his own admission this time, he was just trying to get back his stuff--stuff that they took from him in the first place.

Which sounds a little like...

Adam was just doing what Eve said to do--and she was only there because God made her!

And Eve had been commanded clearly what not to do--but she was tricked by the serpent!

See how it is always someone else's fault?

Yeah.

Neither do I. Nor should anyone older than about...say...eight years of age.

Like O.J., Adam, and a host of other biblical accounts, there are a lot of self-destructive attitudes and behaviors that we moms sinners can adopt, but blame-shifting is a tragic foundational danger--it's been around forever. Well...pretty close to forever, at least.

Talk about building your house upon the sand. How can we truly know our need for Jesus if we're busy about reserving for ourselves, a small measure of innocence or self-righteousness by way of blaming someone or something else for our thinking or attitudes or conduct?

As a sometimes-frazzled wife and mother, I think about all the ways I'm tempted to blame-shift throughout my day. At any given moment, I can rattle off a half-dozen reasons that an episode of sin or shame in my way is actually preceded with an equally sinful action by--and therefore must be the fault of--the other person.

But Jesus isn't buying it. And neither should we.

But oh! How I do try! Oh, yes I do...

The children aren't behaving well; I've been remiss in disciplining them biblically, consistently and lovingly--and instead, I raise my voice yell.

Later, I am uneasy about it. I am convicted that yelling is not what God intends between a child and her parent. But before confession, repentance and cleansing, I spend a few minutes trying to explain that if they would have just...

or worse--I give mental energy to trying to find permission in that Jesus sometimes shouted. Jesus was even sarcastic at times!

Right?

But deep in my soul, I know that it's comical for me to presume that mine is a righteous anger. Because, though He lives in me through His Spirit, I am not Him.

And when the moment is appointed, and the gift of repentance finally recognized, I don't get to pepper my moment with God with a little bit of explanation blame. I don't even get to qualify my confession with a little bit of him or her or they or however.

This mother will answer for her own words. This mother will answer fully for her own reactions to the original bad actions of others--and without mention of the bad actions of others.

I'm practicing now. Here. Trying to keep my accounts short. I may stumble, but He does not let me fall. The Lord is good.