Pat, Pat, Pat...Tap...tap, tap.........PAT!

Time for a practical post. A bloggy friend has emailed asking my thoughts on teaching a young child the finer points of how to not drive Mom crazy mad interruption etiquette with a base of biblical perspective.

The timing is funny because not too many weeks ago, a new little friend of 5 year old Cuddlebug came to me while I was speaking with my pastor's wife.

Pat, pat, pat.

"Just a minute, sweetie."

Pat, pat, pat...Pat...pat, pat.........PAT! I looked down to see which limb was being torn off by a wild boar or a pit bull right there in the church sanctuary, because surely that kind of insistence while I'm in the middle of a conversation with another adult would be for no less reason!

But it was just the sweet smile of a child who isn't mine, "Cuddlebug wants to ask you something."

"O.k., but she must wait." I didn't look long for her reaction, but was told later that I was given an innocently incredulous stare. Fifi made the report, and was equally incredulous as she told me.

Pat, pat, pat...Pat.

Again, the child not my own, "Your daughter has to ask you something."

"Yes darlin', I heard you. But she knows she must wait."

This poor child-not-my-own did not know what to do with this information. She is an "only," and has presumably not had as much practice in waiting for what she wants as has my 3rd born. It's not a condemnation; just a likely fact.

Meanwhile, my youngest daughter--the object of the girl's intercession--was standing right there wondering why in the world this new friend was BREAKING THE RULES so boldly?! Because she knows the law, and the law is that unless it is a deadly emergency, a child does not flippantly interrupt an adult.

Ever.

And when she does, she will be quickly corrected or gently ignored. And if--the Lord help her!--she does not submit to that exercise of discretion, she will be hauled away for Biblical discipline.

Every time.

A child may place her hand on an adult to signal the parent that she is in need of their attention, and the parent will, in turn, place and hold their hand over the child's as if to say, "Yes child, I know you have a question. I hear you. Wait just a minute and you'll get your turn."

But that was not my friend's question. Her question was this:

"...what verses off the top of your head would come to mind to teach a 4 year old about not interupting mommy and daddy when they are on the phone/talking in person with an adult/talking to each other..."

As I prayed about how to answer the question with more than just the over-arching answers afforded by the 5th commandment (Honor thy father and mother) and the Ephesians verse that exhorts the children to "Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right..." I found my thoughts directed to a couple of verses and principles that have come up in our study with the Pictures from Proverbs teaching helps.

The first is that the pat, pat, patting and the tap, tap, tapping of an insistent child is very irritating. Annoying. Enough to make a frustrated distracted parent wish the offender away--at least for the moment. I don't think one has to be a wife--or even a woman--for the verse to apply that says,

"A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike." Proverbs 27:15

And we know what the Bible then says about a contentious woman! One is better living on the rooftop or the wilderness than to have to deal with them. I don't want my girls to grow up with an unGodly habit that makes their husbands or others wish them to the far end of the room...or the world.

Another thing that is going on when children interrupt is that they are afraid of not getting their needs met.

I'm being generous. Some are not actually afraid at all. They're just the victim of really poor parenting over a very long time.

But for the rest, let's assume that things that we, as adults, know are little things, are still very big things to them. We must be careful not to build a pattern of ignoring their speech, concerns and ideas or we will exasperate them to wrath, as we are warned against in Ephesians 5.

And one more thought that was first reminded me by Fifi as I was thinking this through aloud, is that in the end, a child's insistence at interruption is as a sneeze to the flu. It's merely a symptom of the potentially deadly fact that they are out of control.

Children need to know the importance, and practice--through games, drills and experience--the art of self control; it will serve them well all the days of their lives:

"He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." Proverbs 25:28

If they do not learn it before they are old enough to make the big decisions that bring great benefit or come with detrimental consequence, then they will be left more vulnerable to sin's dread sway. And sin will have its way with our precious posterity. I'm not willing to let that happen. Not while I'm still drawing breath.

Having said that, know that it is a lesson that must be learned over and over and over, but hopefully to a lesser degree every year...for as long as they're we're here.

And by we're, I mean us. You and me and all the descendants of Adam. And by here I mean this side of Heaven. Because we're all rowing in the same boat that way.

And we must show mercy as we train them up in the way--resisting the desire to require a holiness of them that we are unwilling, ourselves, to aspire to and achieve.

And of course, the old adage is true. And hard. But true. Consistency is key. So, with the new school year, let us redouble our efforts to do what is best for our children, and trust the Lord will honor our efforts to raise these young ones for His glory!