Just What The Lord Ordered

I have been in a strange place of late. My constant prayer has been that God would change my heart! I've heard myself speaking and thought, "Why do you sound so disgusted?" just as David asked, "Why are you downcast, oh my soul?"

I'm not raging. I promised I wouldn't. But I'm not finding joy in the moment. I'm struggling. I'm living for tomorrow. What a shame.

And I'm nagging! Don't get me wrong, it's all stuff that needs to get done. And I suppose I could blame my sweet children for being a little less than responsive to my kind, first directive -- but truthfully, I must accept the blame. I've not been firm and consistent; I've inadvertently trained them of late, to be...well, late in obeying me. So, I nag.

It's been about a week or two that I've been carving this groove for myself. It became too true to me the other morning when I caught myself actually nagging Husband because he tripped on his way out of bed...

"Ah! What's wrong?!"

"Nothing. I almost tripped. That's all."

"Well, Honey, don't do that. Don't...and don't....and don't...."

Yes, to my shame, I improvised a list of corrections that would help to avoid such a calamity in the future. And I'm pretty sure my eyes were mostly still closed. When you're nagging half-asleep? That's when you know you've a problem -- and a really forgiving husband!

Last night, I complimented a young woman in the store who had three little boys with her. I envied her countenance. She seemed so happy and relaxed to be with them. When I spoke to her, she credited the Lord (hey, we're in Texas) and I must say, I felt different after our brief exchange. I felt hopeful...at least a little bit.

But today was the best. Today, Fifi and I went to our new church's Mother-Daughter Tea. I really had a hard time feeling free to go because I have a half-dozen projects around the house that are calling for my attention and it's difficult to spend time unproductively on the weekend. Beside that, we lost the information flier and had no phone numbers to reference. It was a stroke of Providence that we were able to find our way there via another guest. I was sure this was going to be a few hours for me to endure. To choose to be cheerful. To pretend.

But what a gift! I didn't have to pretend a thing -- I was truly blessed! I'd never been to a tea like this before, and I must say it was exquisite! There is something to be said about the care and effort put forth to make a place beautiful that soothes the soul. It soothed mine! I didn't think I was one for frills and themes and formal things, but it ministered to me. Does that make me materialistic?

There were probably a dozen 4-top tables, all dressed in different themes chosen by the table hostess. There was one decorated with snowmen, another with nativity figurines, one with bird houses, one was a recreation of the Last Supper, and another had a chocolate fountain and a box of Godivas at each place setting. It was the scene-stealer for sure. And guess whose place cards were found there?

I'm in a great mood, and it's not about the chocolate, though I don't think it hurt any!