Trial or Consequence?

What is a trial? And how is it different than a consequence?

It's a hard truth to realize and an unpopular rebuke to hear.

I remember the first time I faced the fact that the "trial" I was suffering was actually borne out of my own actions -- actually, not even my actions, but rather, the hidden motives of my heart. The Lord was not pleased, and did not honor -- because nothing is hidden from Him.

The episode was a couple of years ago and involved sharing the Gospel and setting out to be a good witness for the Lord before a lost family member.

A noble desire, no? An obedient action, right?

I followed all the "rules:" I behaved meekly, said the right things, held my tongue from saying the wrong things, etc., etc., etc. But I was not well received, and I could tell that it wasn't for the sake of persection.

When I told a Sister about it, she wisely encouraged me to examine whether I was sharing the Gospel out of my love for this lost family member, or -- ouch, this hurts -- because I wanted her to come to know that I was right.

*gasp*

That was it. Somehow and at some point, I had blindly yielded my motive in doing something so pure and good as sharing the Gospel to an effort in self-promotion driven by pride.

It was a humbling moment. It was a pivotal moment in my Walk. And as unpleasant as it was, I was glad that I'd had it. It has helped me to be slow about throwing that pity-party that assumes that all my trials are truly precious to the maturing of my faith, because some are, in fact, simply consequences -- a matter of me reaping what I've sown.

The Bible plainly cautions me to know the difference between suffering persecution because of my identity in Christ, and enduring the consequence of my actions when behaving as a murderer, thief or meddler. I've recently been grown by leaps and bounds in this principle -- I've suffered loss for being bold, speaking Truth and living as a diligent steward within the bounds of His mercy. It is marvelous that the Lord would arrive me at this comforting passage in my bible study at this particular time.

He has lifted my head and once again, planted my feet firmly on His foundation. For too many months, I had allowed myself to be thrown by every wind of doctrine. I had decided to believe the best to a fault, and thereby just ignored the fruit of the trees under which I was seeking shade. I was being sharpened by rusty iron.

But I am more careful now.