The Lady Doth Protest Too Much, MeThinks

My mother used to quote this to me when I was trying tooooooooo hard to make my case, prove my point or proclaim my innocence when I was actually wrong or guilty. It's from Shakespeare's Hamlet and it is chock full of irony. Sometimes, it rings pretty true in this century as well.

Another wise quote that comes to my mind today is something my choir director said to the sopranos after apologizing for leaving them with some sort of deficit of direction for a measure or so -- I didn't understand what she was talking about but I caught this:

"I rarely take responsibility for other people's feelings."

What a strong statement! Notice that she didn't say she didn't care. I surmise that she simply is wise enough to know that people are going to have feelings, and one cannot spend all of life and energy trying to disable other people's minefields; we've all got our own in which to execute a controlled detonation, don't we? I think of the "mines" as moments of pride and when they "explode," they spew hurt feelings all over the place.

I used to get my feelings hurt easily, deeply and often. Want to know why?

It was because I hadn't let Jesus be my all-in-all. I was still living with a need to be validated by other people...mere creatures made of dust just like myself! Don't get me wrong; a kind word of encouragement amongst friends is certainly helpful in any moment, but I must be careful about relying upon the praise of even Godly people.

Not many years ago, I needed others to agree with my personal religious interpretations, convictions and politics. I learned to make a pretty good argument about my taste in music, opinions about clothing and even child-rearing.

If you didn't agree, I might try to convince you. If you still didn't agree, I might pretend to be magnanimous about it, but would really let the "offense" stew for awhile. Sometimes I knew I was simmering -- sometimes I did not, until later....

It's a very potent motivation, this need to be validated -- to feel important. It is the very definition of the "pride of life." And when I haven't been careful, it has picked my playmates for me. It's a deceiver; and decisions made by its counsel are not to be trusted.