Modesty and Ambiguity

I was surfing around this evening. I don't surf blog rings very often, but I had nothing to write about, and thought I'd go looking for some more Christian homeschool encouragement. You know what I found? Lots of people are talking about little girls, modesty and clothing fads.

It's about time!

In fact, Everyday Mommy even has a "petition" of sorts that will hopefully make an impact on clothing manufacturers and retailers. It's a noble movement, for sure, though...maybe its statements are still a little ambiguous.

O.k. a lot ambiguous. Maybe it's just me, but I wonder if it's the careful-not-to-say-too-much ambiguity surrounding an issue like what to wear, that causes a lot of the problem in the first place? I'm just saying that for every 100 people I might ask to explain the specifics of what is "sexualizing," or what constitutes, "immodest," I expect to get about 95 slightly different answers. Anyway, I'm glad it's getting some notice. Here it is:

Moms for Modesty Mission Statement

• As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
• I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.
• I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
• I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.
• I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls’ and young women’s clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.

When I was a youngster, I did not understand that vanity was bad. I knew that conceit was not to be desired, but did not understand what vanity was, much less that it was a negative. I thought it was good to be se%y. I thought it was good to be the center of attention. I thought it was a measure of success to be noticed -- and if I could steal that notice from its rightful place? All the better! Isn't that bizarre thinking? But that's what a heart of stone that doesn't love the Lord believes. I don't think things, in general, have changed for the better.

What has changed is the temperature of the water that we Christians are slowly boiling our spiritual selves in, like the frog that is so often cited as a metaphor for compromise. We tolerate so much. We are carelessly sowing seeds of impurity. We use words in defense of our selfish preferences like, "legalism," and "frumpy," and "cultural," and we decide that the outside doesn't matter. We believe like the gnostics who were able to separate the spirit from the flesh, or at least we don't acknowledge that the adornment of the flesh is communicative and what proceeds from the mouth (communication) comes out of the heart.

And we're bringing up a generation of either zealots without knowledge, or lukewarm Christians -- and neither will end well. We allow romance to be recreational and then wonder why Christians are divorcing at rates equal with the world. We encourage fame in the church and can't understand how Jessica Simpson happens. We preach the Word topically and watch people fall apart under the strain of circumstance because they've built their lives on psychobabble rather than the supernatural holy Truth that is Jesus Christ.

Why do Christians do it? Why do we give up and give in? Because it's easier. Or because we're afraid to conflict with our teens; we've thrown them to the lions (peers) but then expect them to deny themselves the importance of succeeding in the arena to which we've subjected them. We expect them to be holier than we're willing to be.

So back to the problem of ambiguity. Let's be brutality plain...

Tight-fitting clothes that hug your se%y figure? Not Godly love toward your Brother.

Cleavage and mammory glands on display? Not Godly love toward your Brother.

Se%y legs showing by way of shorts or short skirts? Not Godly love toward your Brother.

Strappy, toeless and/or stiletto sandals to accentuate your shapely calves? Not Godly love toward your Brother.

Strutting and shaking in your stride? Not Godly love toward your Brother.

I never let my girls wear something at 6 or 7 years old that I won't want them wearing at 16 or 17! As my girls grow older, their responsibility, privilege and liberty will be on the increase. To rein them in instead, is to set us all up for a rebellion -- of that I feel very sure.

And one last thought in line with the old saying that goes, "if you give a child an inch, they'll take a mile." How about we 40ish, round-around-the-middle, se%y-has-left-the-building ladies? Are we exempt because we're not making anyone stumble?

No way! We ought to be modeling what is good and virtuous by dressing as we expect our daughters to dress. Our calling is to teach the younger how to love their husbands and children. They don't have to actually have husbands and children yet to begin to learn how to love them. If I, an older (older than her) woman of God, wear a pair of shorts in public, might that se%y young girl in the bloom of her youth and beauty take it as permission to do the same? You bet.

And she's going to make multiple someones stumble. Be sure of it.