He had come home to take Patience to the Petsmart vet during free clinic times. With beagle leash in hand he brushed by me and said, "Bye. Be back in awhile. I'm taking the little ones with me."
"Huh?"
"I'm taking Two and Three with me."
So, as not to appear to correct him in front of the children, I wave him into my "office."
"Why would you do that? You just told me that you were coming to take the dog because you're more mobile than I am with the children? Why would you take them?"
"Because they said they wanted to go."
*Stare* *Study* *Squint* *Scoff*
"I know what you're doing!"
*Giggle* (Yes, my 6'3" husband giggles when he knows I've figured him out.) "What?!"
"I know what you're doing! And so do you!"
Stop right here. This is an epiphanic moment for me. It's so wrong, but absolutely true. I think the conversation in his head (which he was probably not privy to) went something like this:
"O.k. Going to Petsmart. There's cute little kittens at Petsmart. If we get another cat, we should get 2 of them so they can play.
No...This isn't the right time.
But...that would be a fun surprise, to come home with a couple of kittens. Hmmmm.
That's a pretty big committment. The furniture has been fur-free for a whole week now.
I wonder if Two and Three would like to come with me and look at the kittens? Maybe they'll each fall in love with one and look at me just so, and since I won't be able to choose one over the other (and I want two anyway) I'll have to bring home both!
Then...I'll get to be the hero! *strike a Superman posture, chin up, feet apart, hands on hips* Afterall, I'm not the cat killer -- I'm the one who makes it all better! I never tell anyone to do their math. I'm the Looney Tunes and-pancakes-on-Saturday man! *musical flourish -- dum, dum-dum, dum!*
Yes. That's what I'll do. I'll take the little ones to Petsmart with me."
Good thing I headed him off at the pass. Now I need to plot my super secret trip to the nearest animal shelter while he's at work.
6 comments:
I'm FIRST!!! (happy dance!)
You are seiously good at mind reading. And on your toes for even questioning why he was taking Two and Three, instead of just dashing off for some almost-alone time! I would have been distracted by the thought of the reduced child to mom ratio and totally missed it. Good for you!
Animal shelter, definately rehome some poor little kitties.
We are doing that when I've finally finished all my uni commitments. We decided kitties would be easier to introduce to our 7 year old.
Though it was hard to go and see the older cats and leave knowing we would not be taking any of those.
Oh I get it now-"the conversation in his head (of which he was probably not privy to)"! I was thinking it was funny that when hubby is quiet for long periods of time and I ask him what he is thinking about and he says "nothing". I was beginning to believe he really didn't THINK. Now I know. It's just that he doesn't KNOW he's thinking!!!! Now I wonder which is worse....hmmmm.
Ohhh...it's like the Gift of the Magi and you'll probably end up with 4 kittens!
Hee Hee! That was funny, and you are quite the smarty for figuring him out! I LOVE the Looney Tunes-and-pancakes-on-Saturday man paragraph!
Don't you love it when they try to play the good guy. You're one smart cookie. I would've been to distracted with the idea that Hubby wanted to take the kids to realize an ulterior motive. However, that would never happen in our house as Hubby not only dislikes cats, he is conveniently (for him) allergic. Daddy's Girl has still not gotten over the idea that she will never in her childhood own a cat.
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