Yes, I do feel better than yesterday. And I still take it personally.
When Three -- or Two, or One for that matter -- premeditate to disobey my instructions, rules or spoken expectations, I take it personally.
Clumsiness, ignorance and childishness are all things I really can minister to with a joyful heart. Spilling milk at the table, even though I've cautioned them to be careful, doesn't put me over the edge. Needing help tying shoes -- fine. Needing assistance to mediate a conflict -- worthwhile. Washing clothes, clipping nails (note to self: Three's nails are longer than mine), fixing food, picking up toys (well, actually I'm working on that one), making beds, mentoring in the homemaking skills -- all these things I really can find delight in sharing with these three eager little women-in-the-making.
But locking self in bathroom to play Schlitterbahn sets me off like a Roman candle! Even just being inattentive to me while I'm taking the time to show and teach a new concept is maddening. I do take it personally -- because it is personal.
But here's the thing: it is discipline (not punishment) that the Lord is using to conform me to His image. Sometimes I only think about dealing with sin in my life. Jesus didn't do that. He suffered the sin in other people's lives. And I'm pretty sure that the worst of it was very personal.
I listened to Hebrews 12 a few times today in the car. Timely that I should reach that chapter today. I think I learned to keep my focus on Him -- not in some ethereal way -- but in the very real application that He suffered and died for another's sin (mine!) and didn't relish it, but did anticipate, with joy, what it would accomplish.
4 comments:
I can definately relate. I take it personally as well when my children are openly defiant or downright disobedient. And I don't handle it well either. That is usually the thing that makes me "lose it" the most. If only I could keep emotion from ruling my discipline.
GB, you put me to shame. My priorities are not always so that I am committed to teaching my children anything in particular. Your commitment to teaching your girls to be Godly women is awesome. I let too many things distract me. The problem with that is that alot of times, not only do I miss teachable moments, but I miss picking up on something that might teach me. I am too much of a daydreamer to have a plan for anything much less teaching my children. I often wonder if that is really good for them. When you work so hard to teach them and they disregard or ignore it, then yes, take it personally, but at the same time remember that we are all born with that sinful human nature and while they may be willfully doing something defiant, they don't realize or have a cognizant understanding that they are doing it against anyone, but rather they do it as an innate defiance toward authority in general. It is basically Satan working through them to defy God. We do have to teach them to recognize that for what it is and make better choices as they grow.
This is another one of my late night bl** nights so if this didnt' come out the way I intended...ignore it. If I got it right, it should build you up, not offend. :-)
Thanks for commenting, Gwendolyn! I excited.
Wise words, Joy. You're right to remind me that while their defiance is personal, it's not necessarily malicious. Very good point.
That is the hard thing, isn't it? To discipline without anger.
Joy, you sound a lot like me. I am striving to be more attentive to those teachable moments.
We are works in progress, and I thank God that He isn't finished with me yet.
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