My Bermuda Triangle -- No Excuses

'Round here today, we sailed through my Bermuda Triangle of hormones, temper and tiredness. It was not a good day for me or my poor dear daughters. I did not sleep very soundly and was not feeling my best this morning, so I let myself sleep in a little bit, and in doing so, missed morning devotions and prayer with the family. The irony is that by the very nature of my not sleeping soundly and feeling very well this morning, I needed that time with the Lord even more profoundly than any other! Too bad I didn't think of that until the day was well under way.

The bible says I was a fool today; I gave ground to my rage. I barked and yelled today. I violently slammed a cupboard door and in doing so, broke the handle off One's mug. When I found a puddle of water on the countertop and floor by the dishwasher, I judged Two too quickly, and judged Three too harshly. I was quick to speak and slow to listen. I assumed they had been thoughtless, mischievious and inconsiderate of our habits, but in reality, Two had simply taken the initiative and was thinking on her feet -- when she couldn't get soap out of the bathroom dispenser she looked for some at the kitchen sink. I was shameful today.

So...there were tears and humble apologies and reassurances from me to them. There was confession of sin and repentance to the Lord in front of them because I learned long ago that the confession of sin must be as widely broadcast as was the sin itself. I can't redeem those lost ugly moments. I can't even make restitution for them. All I can do is grieve for what I realized today that I cost my Lord on that cross, and thank Him again for His forgiveness. I can implore Him to help my children forgive me -- for their own sake, not so much for mine. I can ask Him to bless me with a closer walk with Him that I might be able to live victoriously displaying the fruits of His Spirit. I can go to bed earlier. I can pray with Him as surely as I brush my teeth and fix my hair every morning.

There is one thing I will not do though; I will not make excuses. I will not stand before man or God and politely blame someone else's bad choices or trying behavior for my actions and reactions. I will own my sin, knowing that there can only be cleansing where there has been confession. I will not entertain self-pity, pride or self-importance as I'm "bumped" by life's circumstances and sludge spills out of my cup.

I will yield to His cleaning my cup from the inside-out. That way when some hideous circumstance threatens to shake my saucer, the spill will be a pleasing aroma to my God.