I think I made a huge mistake this evening by opening the Lakeshore Learning catalog that came unsolicited to my home today. I should have known better -- I feel the homeschool panic attack come on every time I enter the store -- how much more should the catalog make me envy and doubt?
My sister, the elementary school teacher, might ask, "what's not to like?" Nothing! It's all so wonderfully colorful and organized. There is a pre-printed card and clear plastic pocket to house every piece of knowledge to which a child will be introduced. There is a pretty poster for presidents, and rocks, money exchange and even moods. There is a puzzle or plexiglass specimin for everything from the internal organs of the human body, to insects, to the foliage of a fern.
When it comes to all the beautifully marketed materials, the first bit of truth to remember is this: those plastic molds of primary color cost a lot. I must remember that we're already doing double duty by paying public school tax and then buying our own curriculum, too. The second truth I should realize is the same truth I try to instill in my children -- it's all smoke and mirror. This is marketing at its best. The kids are clean and conservative, shiny and smiling in every picture. Everyone is learning well and happy to be there -- in the pictures. I have to think though, that these classrooms don't actually exist. They didn't when I was young, and I'd be hard pressed to believe things got better with the years.
What do I remember about my elementary years? Well...
I remember in Kinder that there was a boy who used to pick his nose to tease and torment everyone else with the 3-foot-long stringy product that would result. I'm not kidding. He would swing that thing like a pendulum! My parents' tax dollars at work, I'm sure.
In 1st grade, I was already scoping out the boys and making big plans for them. A little friend and I would negotiate who belonged to whom. Those poor boys had no idea that already they were in danger of female domination. I also remember putting my belongings into a 'cubby' every morning -- that was cute fun.
In 2nd grade, I remember learning that 'gato' means 'cat' in Spanish. Mostly though, I remember being chased and even sexually harrassed on the playground. While I don't have a very vivid memory of what happened, I do remember feeling terrified most of the time and was even moreso because no one would listen to my pleas for protection. To this day, I am acutely aware and responsive to any "creepy" feeling that my daughters get from men or boys.
In 3rd grade, I remember feeling sure that the albino bully who threatened me and my sister one day, just because it was our turn, was going to kill us dead on the 1-mile walk from school to the after-school daycare. As it happened, my teacher gave us a ride; we passed our nemesis on the way.
In 4th grade, my teacher ran a tight ship. Surely I must have learned a lot, but what I remember was the five popsicle sticks each of us was issued in the morning to be revolked for misbehavior throughout the day. Sticks of gum from a large bucket were awarded to us, in exchange for whatever sticks remained in our possession.
In 5th grade, I had my best teacher ever. He was a true teacher; his name is Damon Timm. He was passionate about his calling, and it showed. Under his tutelage, I learned a lot about character and life that I don't think any other teacher ever tried to communicate to me. He had a good time with us, too. The next year, he moved up to 6th grade and many of us were blessed to call him teacher for a 2nd consecutive year.
6th grade was the year we played a social structure game that showed us all how hard it is for the have-nots to "make it" in our economy. It left a few students feeling very victorious, but most were frustrated and a few -- including me -- were devastated and in tears. I shudder to think that there are people in our communities who live with that "can't-get-ahead-no-matter-how-hard-I-try" feeling every day. Mr. Timm was an incredible teacher to get all that he did through to us, because we were mostly about the business of private clubs, social status, boys and break-ups, Izod, Polo and Vans.
7th through 12th grade will have to wait for another post.
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